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What I Hope You Do In 2021

There are always opportunities in struggle, and there is always a silver lining — no matter how hard it is to find, and that still held true in 2020.

A lot of people had incredible years and positive life changes even in this unprecedented hell, and I will never discourage people from looking on the bright side.

A trip I’d been dreaming of for years was cancelled, I gave a guy another chance only for him to disappoint me again, and my sequined, feathered, low cut thot clothes in all their glory didn’t see the light of day after March. I know none of this sounds that devastating in the grand scheme of things — and none of it is. I had some really low moments in 2020, but this year really wasn’t that hard on me. I got promoted, I got my first solo apartment, and I began new friendships and rekindled some old ones. I know I have a lot to be grateful for, and I’m sure you do too. But I’m not going to urge you to search for gratitude today. If your year sucked, you don’t have to pretend it didn’t.

What I am going to ask you to do is enter this year with as little fear as possible of what the future holds. I realize that’s an insane request, but I’m asking you to do it anyway.

I didn’t lose my livelihood or any loved ones this year, so I know that might give the impression that I’m lacking empathy or understanding for those who have really suffered. But that’s not what I’m saying…or at least that’s not what I’m trying to say.

I’m saying that fear has never inspired change for the better in my life, and that no matter what Dr. Fauci says, or your governor says, or the President says, life is happening right now. It’s not waiting for any of us, and it’s not waiting for the end of coronavirus. And no matter what 2020 put you through, you can’t enter a new year feeble or afraid — or like anyone but you can decide your fate.

I don’t want anyone to misinterpret my words, and think I’m belittling the devastating effect this year and the ensuing chaos have had. I’m not saying the new year won’t present its own set of challenges. I’m saying that you have a choice. You can choose doom, gloom and premature defeat or you can choose the unhinged resilience that made America what it is.

This blog post isn’t to debate shut downs or masks or vaccines or who won the election. It’s to remind people that in an era of uncertainty, deception and abuse of power, we still decide for ourselves what kind of lives we want to live, and our wildest dreams are still within reach.

I have a weird relationship with optimism. Time and time again, I’ve told myself to assume the worst and avoid premature excitement like the plague to evade disappointment. I didn’t want to look or feel stupid for getting my hopes up. But the older I get, the less I feel I have to show for it. Being measured and realistic has its benefits, but whether you admit your feelings or not, they’re still there. And it doesn’t matter how measured or realistic you are — the potential for disappointment never vanishes. It’s part of the human experience.

Think about it in the context of dating. When people allow themselves to become jaded, they project their negative experiences and repel everyone around them. Whether they’re Reddit weirdos that think all women or whores or bitter feminists that think all men are dogs, they let their pasts cloud their judgment, dictate their world views and block their blessings.

So instead of bracing yourself for another year from hell, I hope you’re looking forward to a year of miracles, change for the better and pleasant surprises. I hope you put 2020 behind you and prepare yourself for the year you deserve, because your outlook is in your control even if all of your circumstances aren’t

Politicians might spend like spoiled trust fund teens from the suburbs of Connecticut and make it impossible for you to do the things you looked forward to, but there are infinitely more joys and triumphs they can’t take from you — no matter how hard they try.

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