TOP
lifestyle motivation

How To Get Over The Fear of Failure

I’ve been dating someone for a while now, and I really like him. He’s cute, he’s smart, I’m always laughing around him and I just genuinely enjoy his company. Yet I keep finding myself pulling back and trying to distance myself from my own emotions just in case it doesn’t end up working out.

To an extent, this is a useful defense mechanism. I employ it in almost every aspect of my life. When I was on the job hunt, I rarely allowed myself to get excited about anything. When I apply for different opportunities, I just assume I won’t be chosen and get to be pleasantly surprised if things turn out differently. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if this preventative measure is actually doing more harm than good.

There is a project that I’ve been playing around with for years now, but I’ve never actually taken the plunge and gotten the ball rolling. There are a million excuses I could make about money, timing and the demands of my personal and professional life but the truth is that if I wanted to make it happen, I would’ve. When I’m being honest with myself, what I’m more afraid of than anything is putting my heart and soul into this vision that I have and failing. I’m afraid of getting excited about this, and getting invested in this, and eating, sleeping, and breathing this to end up with nothing to show for it but time and money that I’ll never get back.

Why am I so afraid? Because it’s happened before.

In college, I put everything I had into getting Greek life on campus. As stupid as I’m sure it sounds to some people, it was something I was genuinely passionate about. I thought that by getting Greek life on my campus, I could be the change I wanted to see at a school that I felt was uninspired and wasted incredible potential. I tried, and I tried, and I tried again. I spent almost all of the little money I made working in retail on trying to make that dream a reality. But ultimately I failed, and I failed, and I failed again. I was angry, I was humiliated — and I was disappointed more in myself than anyone else.

And to be honest with you, that’s something that I never want to experience again.

But the truth is that the people that are the most successful in any arena are those that are willing to put themselves out there over and over. Any entrepreneur worth their webinar will tell you that they fail much more often than they succeed, and constantly pick themselves up, dust themselves off, learn from the experience, and try again.

When you allow yourself to get your hopes up, you increase the risk of disappointment. But when you refuse to let yourself get excited about anything, I don’t think you ever try as hard as you really could. If you won’t let yourself believe that you actually have a shot at something, why would you give it your all? Why would you put your best foot forward?

The fear of failure is completely natural. But to truly stand a chance at achieving whatever it is you want, you have to actually believe you can in the first place. Your belief in yourself, your ability, and your dreams has to be more powerful than the voice in the back of your head telling you not to get your hopes up.

And as defeated as you will feel after putting your everything into something and failing, I’m not sure there is a more effective motivator than seeing your dreams crushed before your eyes. If Olympic athletes thought they didn’t have a real chance to bring home gold, why would they work so hard? And why would they look so visibly devastated when they lost? What would push them to work that much harder over the next four years to come back and get what they came for?

What’s more important than the fear of failure is the fear of failure to act. If you aren’t going after what you want with everything you have because you’re afraid you might fail, you won’t fail — but you won’t win either.

«

»

what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Instagram

  • The rumors are true people, I really am best friends with the DEA agent that took down Pablo Escobar 😩💯👨🏼
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#blogger #instablogger #bloggersofinstagram #throwbackthursday #lovelysquares #photosinbetween #memoriesmade  #lifestyleblogger #lifestyleblog #vscodaily #vscophoto #vscolover #postitfortheaesthetic #christmastime #christmasparty #christmasmood #travelbuddies #travelblogger #dcblogger #theeverygirl #nothingisordinary #thehappynow #myunicornlife #thatsdarling #thatauthenticfeeling #makeitblissful #livethelittlethings
  • I know that posting selfies is like tacky or whatever but this is the only pic I have of me from this night and I look cute and I’m also having a terrible week so like...let me live and just like my pic lol
  • *******long caption warning******
On August 10th I applied to a job, not thinking much of it. It was just another click on LinkedIn that I doubted would lead anywhere. •
•
On August 25th, HR contacted me while I was on my way to visit a friend. I was actually pre-annoyed, assuming it would just be another disappointment and waste of time and energy. But I sent in my cover letter and writing test anyway.
•
•
On August 30th, I had my phone interview, and for the first time in a long time, I was actually optimistic. I knew I had nailed it, and this wasn’t a job I was entertaining because I needed the money — I actually wanted it. I couldn’t keep my excitement to myself. •
•
On September 21st I flew down for my interview, and actually cancelled another interview in the area because I didn’t want to waste my time. I knew what I wanted. •
•
And on September 27th I was offered the job. •
•
But throughout this process, as hard as I worked and as hard as I tried to prove myself, I was anything but self assured. Up until the day I got the call, I was frantically checking my email, bracing myself for the ever dreaded “we’ve decided to move forward with other candidates.” •
•
I had actually forgotten my own value, because it had been so long since someone else had recognized it...and weirdly enough it felt that much better when I was finally reminded of who I am and what I’m capable of.
•
•
Now I’m a fundraiser and no offense but I’m like...fucking killing it...in a $40B industry...for causes I actually care about.
•
•
The fear and insecurity so many of us feel at this stage of our lives can be debilitating, but it’s also what makes our successes that much sweeter.
•
•
I failed and was rejected month after month and was scared to death that I would be a loser for the rest of my life.
•
•
It’s ok to be afraid, but it’s never ok to stop trying #deadass #myguy
  • I donut want to be a productive member of society today 😭
  • Help me find this Cindy Lou Who lookalike aka my platonic soulmate that stalked waiters handing our hors d’oeuvres with me at this Christmas party that I unfortunately met before the smartphone era 😩🙏🏾 @theellenshow @realdonaldtrump
  • Honestly keep your tax and healthcare reform and just give me brunch 7 days a week and we can call it even
  • ********long ass caption warning ******** I’m a digital copywriter for a conservative fundraising firm. I’ll leave it at the fact that it’s lit and I’m doing well to avoid sounding like a 🍆. •
•
I don’t like announcing tingz on social media outside of the realm of me wanting Taco Bell and a boyfriend, but I know a lot of people that graduated with me are struggling with their careers and a sense of direction whether or not they ever admit it. •
•
At my last job I never felt good enough, and part of that was definitely my fault. But it also just wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing. I learned A LOT and worked with brilliant people, but I genuinely feel like I had no opportunities to utilize my talents. •
•
It’s like night and day compared to my current job, that I’ve been at for a month and my manager is already having conversations with the CEO about my future and potential for growth at the company. •
•
As long as it took me to find it, I’m doing something related to my degree that I’m actually good at and that I enjoy. (Money, politics, and writing...I mean come on now) •
•
As bleak as your options may feel at the moment — I genuinely believe there’s something out there for everyone. Sometimes you suck, sometimes your job sucks, but sometimes you just haven’t found where you belong yet
  • When the fake oppressed alt right crybabies hate you and the fake oppressed social justice crybabies hate you it’s a good sign that you’re probably right 🤷🏾‍♀️
%d bloggers like this: