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politics

Can We Please Leave These Things In 2017?

Calling people snowflake

Remember when we were all like 12 and people would say “you’re salted” as an insult and how quickly it became played out? That’s how I feel about “snowflake” — except it’s even more annoying coming from fully grown adults that think they’re being edgy than when it’s coming from middle schoolers at recess. It’s not like I find the term offensive or I think there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just been overused to a point beyond redemption. It’s like a pair of socks with worn out heels or that one item of clothing you have that you have to repair every few months because it’s falling apart…it’s time to let it go. (Frozen, get it?)

Lip injections

I’m not someone categorically opposed to cosmetic enhancements and plastic surgery…but the lip injection trend has got to stop. It’s out of control. I’ve had enough. Mindy Kaling’s lip injections look absurd, and she’s rich, so yours probably look just as bad.

ItWorks Instagram marketing

ItWorks is SERIOUSLY the worst. I’d forgot about my seething hatred for them until I accidentally followed one of them again. They absolutely must be stopped — and I wouldn’t be surprised if they were somehow responsible for what a disaster this year has been because they suck that much. Besides the fact that I used to be liberal, I have pretty impressive intuition when it comes to detecting bullshit, but I hate how good they are at marketing to and preying on people without the same discernment. Instagram needs to get it together and ban them all together. It’s the only solution.

Racial victimhood

Everyone has SOME valid complaints, but you’re not oppressed because Beyonce didn’t win the Grammy she wanted, and you’re not oppressed because a sophomore with a septum piercing told you to check your privilege. Get over yourself and assume full responsibility for the outcome of your life 2k18.

Giving idiots with no convictions platforms because they say one ok thing

To quote everyone I hate, there’s a lot of tea I could spill right now. But just because someone says one thing that makes sense doesn’t mean they should become the poster child of a movement, that they’re mildly informed or intelligent, or that they have genuine intentions…leading me to my next point.

Blind praise of everyone associated with Trump

Tbqh with you, there are pro-Trump “public figures” that were recently exposed that I have suspected being complete frauds for months on end — but remained silent because I didn’t want people to think I was jealous or bitter. But the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of people out there with no integrity of all political persuasions that will say or do just about anything for a quick buck or 15 seconds. I have turned the other cheek time and time again as these political prostitutes rose in the ranks and exploited an opportunity, and tried to give them the benefit of the doubt when I knew I should’ve trusted my intuition.

The sexual harassment/assault witch hunt

As someone who has experienced sexual assault, I recognize the importance of the national conversation. But can we all be adults and recognize that due process is a thing, and that refusing to question this bandwagon of hysteria will only prevent justice from ultimately being served?

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Instagram

  • Am I draining the swamp or is the swamp draining me 🤔🤪
  • This bathing suit says thicc like trump but I’m about to be obese like Chris Christie if I don’t stop stuffing my face like kasich 🤦🏾‍♀️
  • In honor of the biggest psychopath I know FINALLY getting Instagram, here’s a gross picture of us hungover at brunch in shep shirts
  • Float like a butterfly, sting like the first time you saw what you earn vs what you take home every paycheck
  • Kylie Jenner was allowed to pretend her lips were real for like 6 months so can we extend summer for at least 3 more
  • This picture is like 2 months old and it took me that long get to get the faint taste of tequila out of this thermos
  • There is no satisfaction like seeing every single DC food Instagram account I follow post about this place for like 5 months straight and finally getting to try it myself 🤩🙌🏾 .
  • Can the person in charge of my voodoo doll please give me back to the person who was in charge when I was 3 and everything went my way lol
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