Don’t settle for anything less than fireworks
Just because a cute guy is mildly normal and paying attention to you doesn’t mean you should date him or that he’s worth your time. Having lackluster, slim pickings in the bae department can slowly but surely create permanent beer goggles and lowered standards for what we expect in significant others, but if you make it official with the first vaguely decent Joe Shmoe because you want to take cute instagram pics, you’re going to regret it in the long run.
Your happiness begins and ends with you
If you can’t be happy on your own, you won’t be happy in a relationship. If you depend on anyone or anything but yourself to make you happy, you’ll find yourself perpetually miserable and disappointed, no matter your circumstances.
So does your self esteem
Sometimes it’s easy to feel unwanted and unattractive when you look around on a night out with your friends and realize you’re the only single one. It’s easy to start asking yourself what’s wrong with you. I’m not proud of it, but I become very insecure when no one of the opposite sex (that I want attention from) is paying attention to me. I need to learn to take my own advice, but how you feel about yourself can’t change depending on how many people you’re matching with on Bumble or how many guys are buying drinks for you.
The people you choose to share yourself with are a reflection of you
Honestly, being a hoe every once in a blue moon probably isn’t going to kill you, but I think that it’s important to be mindful of who you choose to share yourself with. If down the line, you’d be embarrassed to admit to the love of your life that you slept with someone, maybe you’re better off taking a cold shower.
Don’t miss out on the lobster because sardines were more convenient
I go to a small D3 liberal arts school right outside of Boston where girls account for approximately 70% of the student body so I’m not exactly being overwhelmed with options. The conferences I’ve attended and the people I’ve met through politics have reminded me that there are so many more fish in the sea than the one’s in my pond, and that there really is no rush to settle down if you’re settling for anything less than what you want. There are way too many attractive, bright young minds that share my passions to settle for some loser because we happen to live in the same place and we like some of the same shows on Netflix.
Be yourself and be it confidently
Do you know what everyone likes? Vanilla ice cream. Amy Schumer. Chipotle. Sometimes a person is well liked because they’re just that great, and sometimes it’s because they’re so basic and mediocre that they nothing about them is usually noteworthy enough to dislike. Do you, and do it without worrying about how people are going to react to you. All that matters at the end of the day is being someone that you can be proud of. Everyone isn’t going to like you, and if they do, you should probably be worried.
But never stop improving
Being confident in yourself doesn’t mean accepting a ceiling to your abilities or success in any aspect. As happy as you can (and should) be with where and who you are, there is always room for improvement. There’s probably some ancient proverb about rivers that could be applied here; something along the lines of still water being dirty. Long story short, don’t pollute your life with mediocrity or stagnation.