Guys to Avoid

I’m sure you’ve all seen those lists circulating social media and the blogosphere about “guys to avoid.” Most of the lists I’ve seen have included items like “guys against feminism” and “guys that speak negatively about their exes” among other liberal nonsense. I would probably purchase a Babes for Bernie shirt before I dated a male feminist, and that’s saying a lot.

And while there are warnings to look for in the way that people talk about their exes, I can’t take feminists seriously when they insist that a man feeling negatively about a romantic failure makes him a misogynist while they’ve created a culture and way of life that revolves around their issues with men. I’m starting to seriously think of third wave western feminism as a mental illness; the cognitive dissonance that these people display is beyond parody at this point. But I digress. Here’s my list of guys that you should actually avoid.

Captain Save-A-Hoe – I understand that everyone likes to feel needed and important, and that sometimes a guy just wants to feel like a hero. There’s nothing wrong with that. But as a woman, I respect men that demonstrate enough value to attract strong, intelligent women – not just damsels in distress. This is just me, but if a guy has a habit of pursuing women that desperately need him, I’m inclined to think he doesn’t bring very much to the table or is extremely insecure.

The Male Feminist – A man that apologizes for being a man isn’t one. It’s that simple.

Netflix & Chill Guy – There’s nothing inherently wrong with Netflix & Chill, but it doesn’t qualify as a date- especially a first date. A guy that only suggests Netflix & Chilling with you probably doesn’t think very highly of you, and frankly, you’re better off Netflix & Chilling by yourself than with him.

The Drunk Dialer – I actually love being drunk texted and called. It’s adorable. And if it’s from a guy that I’m interested in, I like any thot that was scheming on him at whatever bar or party he’s at knowing that she’s up against a mysterious chocolate dipped phone goddess. But guys that only have anything to say to you when they’re under an influence are not going to be the ones to make it Insta official with you. Cut the cord.

Too Much Too Soon – I was having a conversation with my friend the other day about guys, and she admitted that she would lose respect for someone that asked her on a date to a low quality restaurant like Applebee’s. I disagreed with her. While Netflix & Chill isn’t an appropriate first date, Ruth Chris isn’t either. In my opinion, both parties in a budding relationship have an equal responsibility to prove their worth. A five star date and Netflix & Chill are both something to be earned. A guy doesn’t owe a girl an expensive meal on the first date any more than she owes him sex. And a guy that spends that much money on a first date probably either isn’t looking for anything serious or isn’t very smart.

Too Good To Be True – Sometimes the chemistry is just there, and it’s awesome. But sometimes, people have a habit of making themselves see something that isn’t there because of how badly they wish it was. If you find yourself thinking that someone is too good to be true, they probably are, and they’re hiding multiple girlfriends/wives/families from you. Remember the coke addict that Mindy dated in season 1 of the Mindy Project? Exactly.

Guys That Hate Fraternities – Show me a guy that passionately hates Greek Life and I’ll show you a guy that I can out-drink and doesn’t think Talladega Nights is funny. What a waste.