Candace Owens Had A Point About #MeToo

I was hoping that this would just blow over before I had a chance to write about it because it’s annoying in more than one way. With my hectic schedule and the pace of our news cycle in the blessed Trump era, I miss out on story after story that actually interests me. But of course, the one issue I’ve been avoiding like the plague refuses to go away.


Let’s get a few things out of the way:


  1. It can be argued that almost any movement has its redeeming qualities and serves a purpose at least to an end. But #MeToo is deeply flawed and doesn’t represent me as someone that’s been sexually assaulted.

  2. I don’t support Candace Owens, and never have. I muted her on Twitter last summer shortly after she rose to fame because although I enjoyed her original viral video following the Charlottesville riots, the rhetoric she adopted as she started to book Fox News slots made it clear to me that she lacked substance.

  3. A broken clock is still right twice a day.


My most serious grievances with #MeToo are its lack of due process, the complete dilution of rape and sexual assault, and its erasure of male victims and female perpetrators. I’m speaking in broad strokes, because there are exceptions to every rule but these are the overwhelming patterns I’ve noticed.


And as much as it pains me to say it, Candace had a point. Please hear me out.


Do you remember the Babe article about Aziz Ansari? A wide-eyed 22 year old nobody photographer met him at an Emmys after party and understandably was star struck. She went on a date with him and went back to his apartment. She ignored every neon, blinking, Times Square billboard sized sign of what he wanted from her and remained in a situation that she didn’t want to be in and then acted as though she was somehow a victim.


I go on my fair share of dates, and I can tell you firsthand that it doesn’t take a masters in physics to figure out when two people have drastically different end goals for a date. Time and time again he made it clear as day that he has no intentions of getting to know her, yet she stayed in his apartment under the premise that the same man that spent the night shoving his fingers down her throat and asking her “where she wanted him to fuck her” was suddenly going to take an interest in her childhood and spend the rest of the night playing with her hair. People made excuse after excuse for a grown woman who remained in someone’s home long after it became obvious that she was little if anything more than a sexual conquest to him.


If you want to have a conversation about objectification, fine, but objectification and sexual assault are two very different issues and discussions that I think should remain mostly separate.


#MeToo has shed light on a serious problem and highlighted stories of serious, disgusting behavior. But because #MeToo casts such a wide, indiscriminate net it lumps the girl that stayed at Aziz Ansari’s apartment because she wanted to date a movie star in with actual rape and assault victims. It’s the kind of outrage first, facts later mob that gave us Mattress Girl, Duke Lacrosse and UVA. It’s irresponsible, it’s unfair, and ultimately has debased the conversation around sexual assault.


Candace Owens — like most talking heads — is constantly chasing shock value by saying the most outrageous things that come to mind. Sometimes I think Fox News guests are literally given MadLib scripts to stick to based off of comments sections and viral memes. And I don’t necessarily feel bad about the backlash she’s received, but I don’t think she ever called sexual assault victims weak or stupid. She said that the #MeToo movement made them look that way…and she’s not wrong.


#MeToo’s big tent has given a platform to everyone with the slightest complaint of sexual foul play — no matter how trivial. And as someone that actually has been sexually assaulted, it’s insulting. This year, I made plans for what I thought was a date. I got to the address and realized it was a house instead of a bar, and didn’t think much of it. Maybe he wanted to pregame? But after being inside for a few minutes it became clear that we had to very different ideas about what was happening that night so I called myself an Uber, went home and slept like a baby, because I’m an adult with a brain that can make decisions for myself. By legitimizing women like Aziz Ansari’s accusers, #MeToo DOES dampen this dialogue and make it harder to take victims seriously. As someone that was sexually assaulted, I think one of the cruelest things you could do is lump in every ass grabbing and regretful hookup with what happened to me and millions of others like me.




what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  • Another day, another pizza pic .
 #foodbeast #eeeeeats #eatfamous #dailyfoodfeed #onthetable #heresmyfood #tastemade #buzzfeast #forkyeah #foodiesofinstagram #instayum #foodgasm #foodography #foodlover #foodielife #eattheworld #foodoftheday #fooddiary #foodaddict #foodpornshare #pizzalover #pizzatime #pizzaislife
  • New blog post about how getting into what’s essentially a grown up sorority after not being able to participate in Greek Life in college reminded me that it’s never too late to create the life you want; I know it sounds stupid on the surface but check it out anyway 🤪 — link in bio!
  • “When I told your father I was pregnant he told me to get an abortion. After you were born he told me he had never been more wrong about anything in his life.” I’m pro-life, and I always have been. My mom was starting law school at Brown when she got pregnant with me a year younger than I am now. My biological father...wasn’t exactly boyfriend of the year to put things lightly, and as an Ivy League grad the world was literally my mom’s oyster. She was extremely religious and went to a very conservative church where a child out of wedlock would turn her into an outcast. Because like every last professed pro-life Christian, she wasn’t perfect. But this wouldn’t be a sin that she could hide or bury. She had every reason to make that appointment, but she chose not to.

Fast forward 24 years, and a really good friend of mine got pregnant at the same age my mom did, and I assumed she would keep it. She was in a stable relationship and even told me she wanted to start a family soon. And according to almost every conversation we’d ever had on the subject, she was pro life too. But she was panicking, and almost overnight her entire perspective changed. Ironically enough, just days before I attended my first March for Life, a good friend of mine got an abortion.

And I won’t lie; I was disappointed. Because like most abortions, it wasn’t the result of some freak accident of properly used but failed birth control. She was being careless. And while I did my best to make the case for keeping it without pressuring her, I completely understood her decision and didn’t judge her for a minute. Because what my friend needed more than opinions or condemnation was my support.

I am pro life, and I always have been. My views didn’t change, but my attitude did. I realized that week, after taking frantic phone call after frantic phone call, that life happens in a lot of different directions. Life happening for my mom meant a child at 24 and dropping out of law school. Life happening for my friend meant an abortion. And part of being pro life — for me at least — is being there for people in your life even when it challenges you.
  • There is nothing more me than white (faux) fur and Taco Bell bc it’s not only broke and bougie, but reckless and worked out anyway
  • In case you ever feel like an idiot, tbt to when I thought a strainer was a tray
  • New blog post that no one asked for getting disturbingly defensive or McDonald’s — link in bio #greatamericanfood #manymanyfries
  • Yes it was a flawed administration in more than one way but this is my aesthetic ok
  • In 2019 instead of making a list of habits and goals I want to implement and accomplish, I’m thinking more broadly about the kind of person I want to be so that no matter what this year has in store for me I’m in a place where I can make the most of it. New blog post — link in bio!
%d bloggers like this: