It’s the middle of June, and if I’m being honest, I thought by now I’d be in a baelationship with my school year crush. I’m not quite sure how I thought this would happen considering the most I was ever able to muster up to him was an “I like your shirt” at a party, but never underestimate the convoluted logic of an infatuated student that’s more often drunk than not.
But here I am in the middle of June, without bae and without hope. On one hand, I really want someone besides my best friends to appreciate my butt and all of its plump glory, but on the other hand I kind of feel like I’d rather be single than let loneliness drive me into the arms of someone below my standards and unworthy of my time. I’ll go on dates and give some guy my number every once in a blue moon, but for the most part I can’t even be bothered to care anymore.
I can’t remember the last time I was really, genuinely interested in someone that was really, genuinely interested in me. And honestly, it sucks. Every last one of my girlfriends has had some kind of “thing” in college. Whether or not it actually became insta official (because we all know insta official is the real deal; FB official is basically a formality at this point), they’ve all had that guy that lasted for the greater part of the school year that they were almost completely exclusive with, and I haven’t.
The only guys I attract are guys that I’m not attracted to, and I wish I wasn’t as picky as I am, but I don’t see a point in kidding myself into thinking I’m gonna give a guy with a man bun, a beard down to his ankles and a “ready for Hillary” pin on his $85 hipster backpack the time of day. I kid you not, as I was writing this post waiting for my manager to open the store some guy old enough to be my uncle if not my dad that looked borderline homeless came up to me and asked me what I was doing after work. I’m all about the dilfs, but this guy was a don’t. Yet in that very same cafeteria were dozens of businessman having their breakfast. Why, oh why, couldn’t a man with a great haircut and a tailored suit have approached me that godforsaken morning? Because my life sucks, and because most guys worth actually talking to don’t make a habit of approaching random women.
I think I’m really pretty and I think I deserve a lot. I don’t care if that’s a controversial or taboo statement. And I know for a fact that I’m not the only girl that feels underrated and unappreciated. When you’re single, everyone likes to tell you how the right guy is going to come as soon as you stop looking for him and all of these other overused cliches, but I don’t know if they’re right. I won’t tell you that everything’s going to be okay and that before you know it you’ll be at the beach with the love of your life sharing a handle and bucket of wings (yes those are my relationship goals), because I genuinely don’t know if love happens for everyone. But I do know that you’ll never get more than you settle for, and that there’s a lot more to do with your life in the meantime than stress about romance.