Easy Political Halloween Costumes That You Can Thot Up Or Down As You Please

Halloween really snuck up on us this year, and if you’re as busy as I am, you’ve found yourself scrambling for a costume as the festivities draw near. Let’s face it; all of the iParties and costume shops are completely sold out of anything worth wearing and nothing you order online will get here in time. But fear not, exhausted politico! These are some simple, affordable costume ideas that can be customized to fit your preferred degree of thottery. Because after all

Hillary’s Deleted Emails

What you’ll need

White clothes
A white poster
Markers (red and black)
A rope (or something to tie the poster board around your neck with)

Get a basic rectangular white poster board and draw lines on it that make it look like an envelope, then write [DELETED] in big, bold red letters. Cut some holes in it for string/rope to tie around your neck, and voila! You’ve got a costume. The white makes it look more intentional and less like something you half assed a half hour before heading to the bar/party.

How to thot it up

A bodycon white dress OR if you’re feeling extra thotful, a white bralette/crop top and a tutu.

Basket of Deplorables

What you’ll need

A big basket (straw or fabric will probably be easiest to work with)
A shirt you don’t care about
Scissors
Markers
Rope (or something comparable to tie the basket to either your neck or arms)
A Trump hat (optional)
Cut outs of Pepe the Frog & Trump (optional)

Get a big laundry basket from Walmart or another cheap store and cut a giant hole in the bottom for your legs. Use rope or something comparable so that you will tie to the handles of the basket and either around your neck or arms so that you won’t have to carry it around all night. Write “DEPLORABLE” on a shirt and wear a Trump hat. Decorate the basket with cutouts of Trump and Pepe The Frog.

How to thot it up

Make the shirt a crop top, or for extra thot points where a bralette and write DEPLORABLE on your chest or stomach.

Trump Wall

There are a couple of ways this could be approached.

The lazy way: Get a dress or bodysuit; preferably white, black, gray, brown, nude or red. Get fabric markers or crayons and draw a wall pattern all over it. Feel free to write something like “Make America Great Again,” “Big Beautiful Wall,” or “Mexico Will Pay For It,” on the back or front of the dress. You can find cheap ones that you won’t care about at stores that teen moms with upper lip piercings shop at.

The less lazy way: Use a dress (of the same color palette previously described) that you actually like and find a large piece of fabric/bed sheet of a similar color. Cut it so that you can wear it as an arm cape without it dragging on the floor. Get fabric markers/crayons and draw the wall pattern on the fabric of your cape. Once again, feel free to throw a Trump phrase on the back of that bad boy.

Trump Wall Construction Worker

This could also go a few different ways as well.

1) Trump hat and construction vest.

2) Hard hat and Trump shirt

It’s probably not the best idea for a drunk person to be walking around with construction tools, so unless you’re the DD, leave the hammer at home (but why is anyone DDing on Halloweekend? Get a damn Uber and live your life). Some more realistic accessories would be an empty tool box, construction gloves, or a ruler.

How to thot it up

High wasted denim shorts or very holey jeans/overalls and either a crop top/bralette depending on which approach you chose.

Marco Rubio

What you’ll need

A blazer
A tie
Plastic water bottle
The ability to repeat the same phrase all night

This is probably one of the easiest costumes, and even though only your political friends will get it, they’ll still appreciate it.

How to thot it up

High socks, mini skirt, bralette

Zodiac Killer Victim

What you’ll need

Fake blood or something that will look like it
Fake bruises (optional)
Markers

Wear whatever you want and thot it up as you see fit. Put fake blood/bruises on your face and body. Draw the Zodiac Killer’s signs on your face or body. TADA!!! Teddy Cruz killed you just like his dad killed JFK.

Basement Dweller

What you’ll need

Robe
Bag of chips

Again, extremely straightforward. For some extra points, maybe throw in some Bernie paraphernalia.

How to thot it up

Thigh highs and lingerie instead of pajamas/a big t shirt underneath

Hillary Clinton’s Nurse

What you’ll need

Regular nurse costume
Hillary sticker

If you need me to explain this you probably shouldn’t be on in the internet unsupervised.

How to thot it up

White thigh highs, pumps, show cleave

A Russian Hacker

What you’ll need

A big furry hat
A big furry coat OR trench coat
A walkie talkie and/or earpiece
Brief case (optional)

How to thot it up

I feel like this should be obvious enough by now, but a tight dress or lingerie if you want to go the extra thirsty for attention mile. Thigh highs work too.