college life after college

An Open Letter to the Friends I’ll Never Talk to After Graduation

As much as it pains me to say it, this is an open letter to the people I’ll never talk to after I graduate. I hate open letters, because they’re the worst. But this is what this is, mainly because I know I won’t be the only person experiencing what I’m going through this summer, and because I lack the emotional maturity to send this kind of heartfelt gibberish to people individually. So without further ado, here goes.

I’ve seen this coming for some time now, and I’ve been dreading it more than you’ll ever know. In a few short days, you’re going to get your diploma. Before you know it, you’ll be moving into some crappy apartment and be commuting to a job you can’t wait to start. And a few months from now, I’ll probably ask you how everything is going, and we’ll have a short but hilarious conversation about our lives. We’ll make plans to catch up that we’ll never follow through on, and maybe comment how much we miss each other on social media every few months, but never actually see each other again on purpose. I wish that weren’t the case, but I’m being realistic. We’ve barely talked this year, and we’ve hung out even less. We’ve both been incredibly busy, but at the end of the day, we make time for the people we want to see. And I’ve accepted the fact that I’m no longer a priority to you.

Don’t misconstrue this or get defensive; I’m not upset with you, and I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’ve asked you if you want to grab everything from drinks to brunch, and I’ve been blown off time after time. And I’d be kidding myself if I thought that would change after graduation.

A part of me will always wish that we could have remained as close friends as we once were, but I’m learning to accept that sometimes without warning or explanation, relationships fade, and it’s not necessarily anyone’s fault.

I love you. And I’m not just saying that because we’re graduating or because I want to end things on a positive note. I love you. One of the most valuable lessons that college has taught me is learning to appreciate people for who they are as opposed to wishing they could be the person that you need. Instead of griping about reciprocation in friendships or lack thereof, I’ve learned to appreciate people as they are, love them to the best of my ability, and try to be the best, most encouraging friend that I can.

It hasn’t always been easy. It’s been a rough year and all I’ve wanted so many times was to call someone at 3AM and be told that it would be okay. And it hurt knowing that I couldn’t depend on people that I would drop everything for without a second thought. But growing up is coming to a genuine understanding that life isn’t about how people can serve you, but about how you can serve others, and spread as much positivity as possible in however much time you share with them.

You’re capable, you’re beautiful even if you’re a dude, and you’re worthy. And once again, I’m not just saying that. There are very few people that will be missed after May, and they’ll be missed for a reason. I hope that the next few years of your life are filled with so much joy and serendipity that you feel foolish for ever having doubted yourself. I hope that you refuse to take no for an answer as you find your place in the world and I hope you refuse to settle for a life that doesn’t become you.

Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for being the best friend that you knew how to be. Thank you for making me smile, and thank you for making me laugh. I’m a better person for having known you, and I hope that every person you meet after you walk across that stage recognizes your acquaintance for the privilege it is.

P.S. If I ever hit you with a “new phone who dis” I probably actually do have a new phone.



  • Comment: Anonymous on May 10, 2016

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