The other day I was scrolling through Facebook when I saw a girl post in one of the private groups I’m in. It was a mirror selfie of her in a bikini and she had said something along the lines of “is this too risque for Instagram? I’m old and insecure.”
I don’t know the girl, but by “old” I’m assuming she was past her early 20s. She was pretty and in shape. And while the pose was arguably a little provocative, it was nothing that would be career ruining if she ran for public office if that puts things in perspective.
Her post got me thinking about the mindset that so many women adopt once they turn 24 or 25. Suddenly crop tops can only be worn with high waisted pants. And a backless shirt is considered scandalous. And people start ordering white wine at bars.
I remember being out with my roommate one weekend, and observing this group that was celebrating a 30th birthday. I was assuming most of the women in attendance were around 30 as well. They were pretty and seemed relatively fit from what I could see as a straight woman in a dark bar 10 feet away. Their outfits were cute, but they were boring. They looked like they were going to their boyfriends’ families cookouts instead of a semi trashy bar in the middle of Arlington. And I remember thinking that turning 30 wouldn’t be the traumatic life event that women treat it as if they stopped shopping exclusively at Ann Taylor.
Don’t get me wrong. My own style aside, I fully support modesty and a woman’s right to cover up and dress like a pilgrim if she wants to. But I think the way we dress and what we post and so on should have a lot more to do with how we feel and what we want than the unwritten rules about what’s acceptable or taboo for certain age groups. If you’re going to dress like an American Girl Doll it should be because that’s what you like — not because you’re worried about what some bitch in Junior League is going to say about it.
I’m turning 26 in January. I love Lilly and Vineyard Vines and looking like a walking picnic — but I also love Fashion Nova and Forever 21 and looking like I’m dating a SoundCloud rapper. And as long as I look good doing it, I reserve the right to dress like a thot.
And if you think about it, most of these 40 year old celebrities posting scantily clad pics on Instagram have had some form of cosmetic enhancements. Why is it that I, as a regular shmegular girl, that has to work out and avoid bread sometimes and do things the hard poor way, am not allowed to celebrate the way I look past the age of 23? I rebuke it.
My outlook is basically that one day, unless you’re rich, gravity will hit you like a ton of bricks and you’ll be wrinkly, and saggy, and won’t even want to see yourself half naked. So enjoy being hot while you can ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
I’ll be honest: while I clearly have more liberal opinions about what women can wear and post as they get older, even I have my limits. The older you get, the more I think you should mix it up. Yes, you can wear bodycons and booty shorts if you want to — but every picture you post shouldn’t be something that would piss off your dad. It should be obvious that you have a job and can read. When I see a girl my age or older that posts a picture in a ~spicy~ outfit where she looks amazing, I think “yas kween.” When I see a girl my age or older post nothing BUT that, I think “is she okay?”
But then again, opinions are opinions, and no one is obligated to live or die by mine.
At the end of the day, we should all do what we’re comfortable with. I just don’t think that women have an obligation to retire their fun clothes or start presenting themselves like mommy bloggers because they turn a certain age.
4 years ago
I love this post! Everything you have to say is so accurate 🙂
Nicolette Muro | thebrightestbrunette.com