8 Simple Ways To Slim Down

I’ll be honest with you- there is no cheat code or shortcut to losing weight in a healthy, permanent way. If you want a better body, you need to adopt a better lifestyle; there’s no way around it. But while I have been making slow but sure changes to my diet and exercise habits, I’ve been extremely busy, and haven’t been as strict as I should. Nonetheless, I’ve lost a noticeable amount of weight, and while it can be a challenge at times, it’s not nearly as difficult as you’d think.

Becoming calorie conscious – This may seem straightforward enough, but I literally never paid attention to calories until I was trying to lose weight, and it made a world of difference. I try to generally limit myself to around 1000 calories per day, and pay much more attention to what I eat as a result of it. It’s a rough adjustment when you eat like a 300 lb man, and of course I’ve had slip-ups, but it’s not nearly as impossible as I thought it was.

Making healthier choices – This also probably seems like a no-brainer, but making simple (yet initially painful choices) like a tomato and egg breakfast sandwich on pita bread instead of a Big N’ Toasty from Dunkin Donuts dripping in grease makes all the difference.

Deleting the Dominos App – Freshman through junior year, the Dominos app was my best friend and worst enemy when I was drunk. I think I can certainly and shamefully admit that I’ve probably spent close to a thousand dollars on Dominos throughout my college career. The app made it far too easy for drunk me to betray sober me both physically and financially.

Caffeine pills – I stopped drinking coffee because I like it with as much sugar and cream that can fit in the cup, making me temporarily energized but permanently porky. To replace my daily doses of Dunkies, I ordered a $7 bottle of a hundred 200 mg caffeine pills that were much more cost effective than $4 per day on a medium iced coffee with 5 liquid sugars and an espresso shot, and actually sped up my metabolism as opposed to packing on pounds.

Drinking water – Instead of my go-to dining hall mixes of orange juice and lemonade or orange juice, cranberry juice and Sprite, I get fruit infused water. It’s not fun, but it’s also not fattening, and my skin has been in much better shape as well.

Switching to vodka – At the bar, I tend to be a Long Island girl. They taste relatively good and a maximum of two are pretty much guaranteed to get you drunk, making them usually cost effective (except for at CPAC where I paid $15 or more for one on more than one occasion 😒). However, the alcohols and mixers in Long Islands make them an alarmingly chunky choice. I’ve switched to Vodka Tonics, and only buy vodka at liquor stores as it’s the hard alcohol with the least caloric consequence, despite how much I love a good ole bottle of Anti-Freeze cinnamon whiskey.

Anticipating cheat days – Be smart. Don’t hashtag treatcho self on a Wednesday if you know that tomorrow is Thursday and you’ll probably end up drunk in a Burger King drive thru or ordering three slices of pizza at your local karaoke bar.

Being cheap – An easy way to avoid overeating is to avoid overspending. Food- good food especially- is expensive. Being thrifty is a great way to get skinny.




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  • Shake shack opened a location near my apartment so I’m just looking at my feet while I can still see them before I gain the inevitable 90 lbs
  • Tbt to the time I searched every floor of union station for a Cinnabon then ended up paying $9 for the most disgusting steak and cheese I’ve ever encountered
  • Is it really Veterans Day if you don’t post a granddaddy pic? It’s easy to get wrapped up in feel good quotes and talking points on Veterans Day — and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a day we set aside to celebrate the men and women that decided to put service above self. But if we’re truly going to honor service and sacrifice, we don’t stop at what feels good or what’s easy to talk about — we address veteran homelessness, veteran suicide, post deployment reintegration, VA reform — and most importantly we resist unnecessary war that puts our troops in unnecessary danger. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
  • My sandwich a lil ugly just like me 😛
  • You, an idiot and a plebe: divided by politics
Us, scholars of noble upbringing: divided by Nicki Minaj vs cardi b
  • No matter what happens tonight, I don’t have to listen to/watch political ads for another year and a half and that’s something to drink to
  • I feel like God makes sure to plop a good sunset in front of me at least once a week so I don’t go postal
  • Friday I had ice cream for breakfast and ate pizza for lunch and dinner because I’m a woman in crisis but im gonna keep telling myself carb addiction beats meth addiction until I need those wheel chair shopping carts at the grocery store 🤷🏾‍♀️
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