I Think I’m, Like, Really Pretty


You know that awkward, almost impossible balance of being confident but not “overdoing” it? Because no one wants to be the girl with no sense of self awareness, who thinks much more highly of herself than anyone else does.

I mean, it’s one thing to underestimate yourself– which is an entirely different brand of annoying, but remember when American Idol was relevant? Remember the only reason you watched; the first round of auditions with people that sounded like a farm full of animals dying in slow, painful agony? As entertained as you were, do you remember the cringing second hand embarrassment you felt on behalf of these poor, delusional souls? Imagine being in their shoes. Imagine being the person that had never been told by their loved ones that they were completely out of touch with reality, and imagine being confronted with that reality in the form of an audience of millions in hysterical laughter, and three condescending judges.

If we’re keeping it 92, I think I’m super good looking. If we’re keeping it 8 more than 100, in line with Drake’s preferences, I think I’m straight up gorgeous on most days, and grossly underrated. But I’m not clueless. I don’t want to be like Hottie from Flavor of Love, that was under the deranged impression that she resembled Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter. I mean, are we even looking at the same person? At best she might be able to play one of her aunts in her Lifetime biopic.


The only thing worse than being embarrassed is being the object of second hand embarrassment. Why humiliate yourself with your own inflated confidence? Why not play it safe, and lower your opinion of yourself to better reflect those of your peers? Why not be pleasantly surprised by a person occasionally thinking more highly of you than you do of yourself, than live in constant anxiety that what you like about yourself may be a product of your wild imagination?


You know what I’ve realized? There’s a very low chance that anyone that has anything to say about you is of any actual relevance. Most people never think to question their standards, habits or beliefs. They never stop to question why they believe what they believe. If people are going to spend so little time considering their own idealized measurements of appearance or personality, why should you spend any time trying to conform to them?


Why should you lose sleep over whether or not the greater majority of people approve of you, when that same majority are probably voting for Hillary Clinton because she took a selfie with Kimye, or think anything with fake lashes and a contour is beautiful? Why care so much about what people think about you when they spend such little time actually thinking?


In conclusion, stop caring about who thinks you’re pretty, or smart, or funny, or worthwhile because at the end of the day, the only opinions you can control are your own. If you think you’re pretty, smart, funny and worthwhile, you have every right to say so, regardless of who agrees with you.

“We all have our limitations, but when we listen to our critics, we also have theirs.”

– Robert Brault



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