Is Nothing Sacred Anymore? Bud Light Goes SJW

I majored in communications, and as much as I enjoy communications, I recognize that there’s a reason that com majors have a reputation as less than intellectual. Communications isn’t exactly rocket science, and doesn’t exactly have a habit of attracting the brightest minds. Of course, I like to consider myself as well as many of my peers the exceptions- but let’s not kid ourselves. As many overbearing communications professors with too much to prove as there may be, in comparison to fields like business and law, our classes are jokes.

That being said, if there’s anything I’ve learned as a communications major, it’s knowing an audience. And as a communications major, I am genuinely pained by large companies with inflated marketing budgets that seem to advertise without the slightest consideration for their audience or target demographic. Communications and marketing are extremely oversaturated industries, and I don’t understand how such clueless buffoons keep managing to be hired for such high-profile campaigns.

When Bud Light started launching commercials with Amy Schumer and Seth Rogen, I knew it was the beginning of the end. Who drinks Bud Light? Who drinks Busch, Coors, Natty or cheap American beer in general? People that love America. People that love America don’t like Amy Schumer or Seth Rogen, as both are professed, vocal adversaries of freedom. Amy Schumer is funny to people that drink boxed wine on weekdays and have snapchat stories over 100 seconds, and Seth Rogen is funny to people that sympathize with the annoying liberal dog on Family Guy. They took it to the next level, though, with their recent embarrassing commercial in which they address the “Pay Gap.”

Bud Light, you were so much better than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I really liked Bud Light Platinums, and am devastated that I will no longer be able to purchase your products as your brand has become emblematic of the rapid and exponential pussification of America. And yes, I thought long and hard about it and literally couldn’t think of a more appropriate term than pussification.