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  • This bathing suit says thicc like trump but I’m about to be obese like Chris Christie if I don’t stop stuffing my face like kasich 🤦🏾‍♀️
  • In honor of the biggest psychopath I know FINALLY getting Instagram, here’s a gross picture of us hungover at brunch in shep shirts
  • Float like a butterfly, sting like the first time you saw what you earn vs what you take home every paycheck
  • Kylie Jenner was allowed to pretend her lips were real for like 6 months so can we extend summer for at least 3 more
  • This picture is like 2 months old and it took me that long get to get the faint taste of tequila out of this thermos
  • There is no satisfaction like seeing every single DC food Instagram account I follow post about this place for like 5 months straight and finally getting to try it myself 🤩🙌🏾 .
  • Can the person in charge of my voodoo doll please give me back to the person who was in charge when I was 3 and everything went my way lol
  • More tacos, less talking (forever 21 please don’t bedazzle that on something otherwise  cute)