As young adults head to their campuses and the fall semester begins, the sorority recruitment videos have predictably returned in full force.
Since the explosion of Tik Tok, it seems like they’ve become even more grandiose, produced and choreographed with each passing year.
The dances are getting more intricate. The outfits seem to be getting more expensive, and the budgets seem to be getting bigger.
And I think there’s more to them than meets the eye, and something to be learned.
For most of the 2010s, it seemed like the dominant cultural narrative dove headfirst into “social justice,” identity politics, and aggrievement.
For the better part of a decade, it seemed like everything had to be a little bit woke. Video games, movies, department stores, fashion shows – you name it. If it wasn’t pandering to someone’s insecurities or “marginalized” status, it seemed like both a massive risk and act of rebellion.
I know that it’s impossible to speak for sororities as a whole, as there are dozens of organizations, thousands of chapters, and lots of variation based on school, region and a handful of other factors.
But when you think of the big schools with impressive houses, massive memberships, and extraordinary alumni networks, that embody the very essence of the word, a very specific image comes to mind. And for those girls, in those chapters, even at the peak of woke virtue signaling, they didn’t seem to budge.
The videos of gorgeous, fit blondes and brunettes defying the laws of gravity, strutting, sashaying and showboating never went away – and that wasn’t for lack of effort.
It seemed like there was always some thinkpiece accusing these women of “internalized misogyny,” upholding the patriarchy and objectifying themselves for the crime of being conventionally attractive and capitalizing on it.
The truth is, they understand some fundamental truths about human nature that both the left and right seem to consistently miss.
Sorority girls know that what people want – and what people want to be – is instinctual.
That’s not to say it’s static – but it isn’t changed by lectures from either direction.
Some progressives seem to think that if they just repeat the same lie confidently enough and long enough, it becomes true. If they insist that beauty is some subjective, abstract concept or that Lizzo has just as much physical allure as Sydney Sweeney with enough zeal and over enough time, eventually the rest of us will believe them.
But we don’t, even if we’d like to.
All of the “body positive” ad campaigns, “inclusive” casting and “norm defiance” in the world doesn’t change what we actually think or what we actually want.
It might change what some of us say out loud, but it doesn’t change how we feel.
For what it’s worth, I think Lizzo has a beautiful face and genuinely striking features.
I don’t think everyone can – or should – be a size 0.
I’ve seen beautiful overweight women, I’ve seen beautiful women with buzz cuts, I’ve seen beautiful women with facial piercings, and beautiful women of every ethnic background.
But if you took a random sample of American women and presented them with an all expense paid cosmetic transformation, giving them the options of either looking like Lizzo or looking like Sydney Sweeney, how many of them would choose to look more like Lizzo?
Social conditioning can be powerful and effective. It can change what we accept in ourselves and it can change what we publicly express, but it doesn’t change what we desire.
You can tell women there’s “power” in rejecting “western beauty standards.” You can tell them until you’re blue in the face that these ideals are backwards, oppressive and unrealistic. And they might adopt the talking points, but on some level, whether or not they ever admit it, most of them still want to be the girl in an SEC sorority video – and one need look no further than the widespread use of Ozempic to understand it. “All bodies are beautiful” – until weight loss can be bought and sold for a couple hundred bucks per month.
On the other hand, I think conservatives could learn the same lesson in a different way.
For years now, right wing influencers have made a habit of lecturing women about the importance of marrying young and having lots of babies.
I know it works for some people, but it’s hard for me to think of an example where I’ve seen this done in a way that resonated with me.
I feel like I’ve been reading about fertility, “the wall,” and “high value men” on Twitter for nearly a decade now, before it even entered mainstream conservative consciousness or became a conference talking point.
And I won’t pretend that some of the information isn’t useful, but it’s hard for me to think of a single example of this that really persuaded me. I can’t think of an instance where someone shouting into a mic has ever “changed my mind.”
What makes me yearn for marriage and children isn’t angry podcasters launching into polemics about them.
I know what I want out of life, and I don’t need an influencer to convince me of what’s already hardwired in my heart.
The videos that move me, and make me feel like I won’t fulfill my life’s purpose until I reproduce, are the ones of babies. Babies laughing, babies sleeping, babies being unhinged. No grandstanding, no reaction, no “stitch incoming.”
Occasionally, a wedding or relationship video might get me, but it’s so easy to perform and orchestrate romance for the internet that it’s hard to take them at face value. A baby has no ego, no vanity, no vested interest in going viral. You know what you’re looking at is real.
Don’t get me wrong; I understand that after decades of institutional programming telling women that they should prioritize career over family, that motherhood is overrated, that “finding themselves” is more important than finding love, some might need more aggressive messaging.
But I suspect the traditionalists would be much more successful in their efforts showing women what they want versus telling women what they want.
We can tell each other flattering falsehoods, and we can lie to ourselves about a lot. But when we’re confronted face to face with what we want – or what we want to be – it’s almost impossible to ignore.
It asks us questions that can be uncomfortable, stirs something in us that feels primal, and demands our undivided attention, with a greater potential to move us to action than a trad wife tirade ever could.
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what do you think?