I read a headline recently about a Jesuit priest encouraging Catholics to celebrate Pride Month, and this probably doesn’t come as a surprise, but I didn’t agree with him.
But this isn’t about him, because most of the Christians that follow me don’t agree with him either. They don’t need convincing. But there’s something that’s on my heart and on my mind this June that I have to express.
I remember having a conversation with a friend who was ranting and raving about gay people. The specifics are blurry, but she was definitely the type to call it satanic and demonic, decrying what society had come to accept. And like, I get it. I’d be lying if I said I’d never rolled my eyes at a gay kiss in an ad or a tv show that seemed to come from nowhere.
But the irony of her vitriol was overwhelming, as she was having premarital sex multiple nights a week. One time she said something like, “I know it’s wrong, but I have needs.” And I didn’t say anything at the time, but I remember wondering if she had deluded herself into the belief that what she was doing was somehow more acceptable in the eyes of God.
I’ve seen many Christians—sometimes even well-meaning ones—treat gay people as if they’re uniquely broken. Like God can forgive everything but a sodomite. Like our shortcomings are being graded on a curve. Like their sins are only wrong based on some kind of technicality, while homosexuals are fundamentally defective.
Some people seem to think of same-sex attraction as categorically worse than a man and woman having sex outside of marriage because it’s “unnatural.” I don’t know if that’s true, but I also don’t know if that matters when we critically consider human nature. The third person born in the history of mankind murdered his brother, motivated by jealousy. When we’re this effortlessly evil, does it make a difference if the sin in question is innate?
There’s something very human about using the failures of others to downplay our own. But if we’re depending on other people being “worse” to make ourselves look better or more faithful, isn’t that an indictment in and of itself? Shouldn’t we be striving for a commitment to Christ that can stand on its own instead of leaning on negative comparison as a crutch?
When we tell ourselves that God hates someone else’s sin more than He hates ours, will it draw us closer to Him? Or will it give us false comfort in our transgressions? Are we looking to lead others to Christ? Or are we letting ego drive us to hypocrisy, and repelling others from Him? Are we seeking a real relationship with God? Or are we performing one?
My heart breaks for the LGBTQ community – especially those that want to know Christ. So many of these people have experienced profound pain that can only truly be healed by real Love – and not the kind that’s plastered on a poster or sandwiched in a slogan, but the kind that comes from our Creator.
But Christians so often fail them. It seems like most churches treat them like subhuman deviants or rewrite the Bible to fit contemporary cultural norms.
I won’t pretend to fully understand what it’s like to be a gay person wrestling with God, or trying to reconcile my existence with my faith.
But I have often wondered through tears why God made me the way He did, or why He would allow things to happen in my life. It seemed like He was setting me up to fail.
I’ve questioned His character, I’ve questioned His plan, I’ve questioned His truth.
Why would He bring me into this world if the only way I could obey Him was through my suffering?
But the farther I’ve come in my walk with Him, I’ve realized that any contentment I’ve found listening to myself or to the world has been fragile and fleeting.
The joy that stands the test of time, that doesn’t depend on circumstance, and that can’t be taken from you, comes from Christ and Christ alone.
It’s not something you’ll understand overnight. In my case, it came after 5 years of intentional pursuit of the Lord. It’s hard fought, and impossible to explain. But once you experience it, nothing comes close.
At my core, I’m a bit of a sybarite. I relish the pleasures of this world. But the more I surrender to God, the more I realize that everything it offers is cheap and transitory compared to what God gives. It’s shiny, but it shatters. It’s fun, but it fades.
When we live for ourselves, our lives usually devolve into chasing highs. Whether it’s through escapism, achievement, or pleasure, we’re constantly looking for the next best thing. But what we think is “fulfilling us” is actually depleting us.
Submitting to God is a process, and it’s a hard one. I don’t know if it ever really ends. But I know it’s worth it, no matter who you are, and no matter what tempts you.
I don’t know if we ever reach a point on this side of life where we’re so holy or so transformed that we overcome our instincts. Our paths won’t always be a neat, forward line. Some days you’ll run, some days you’ll stumble, some days you’ll sit still, and some days you’ll backtrack. But there is nowhere you’ll find more meaning or gratification than in the Lord.
For a long time, the culture told the gay community that their sexuality defined them. Whether they were progressive activists or religious zealots, both sides insisted their sexuality was the most important thing about them. One insisted that their proclivities were why they should be distinctly celebrated, while the other insisted it was why they should be distinctly condemned. But what if they’re both wrong?
What if you were made for more than either side has given you credit for? What if who you’re attracted to isn’t who you are? What if your identity isn’t in your sexuality but in your Savior?
If you’re gay, I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, and I’m not going to pretend that you’re any worse than me. But I am going to tell you what I know to be true.
God loves you more than any protester possibly can. He hates your sin, and He hates mine too. He calls us all to sacrifice, not because He wants to torture us, but because He wants to give us something so much greater than our flesh ever could. And if you can look past the misguided propaganda either calling you to self hatred or self indulgence, you’ll find a patient, loving and merciful Father waiting for you with open arms.
what do you think?