I think the Prodigal Son is an important story because everyone can see themselves in it.
Maybe you don’t relate to the son himself because even if you’ve had your doubts, your moments of weakness, and your struggles, in your eyes, you’ve never truly walked away from God.
Maybe you relate more to the brother, that found himself jealous, stewing and frustrated, feeling like his good behavior had gone unnoticed while his degenerate brother wasn’t just forgiven for his trespasses, but seemingly rewarded for them.
Personally, I’ve seen myself in both, and the more I’ve reflected on that story and connected it to my own life, the more humbled I’ve been.
And if you’re in a stage where you feel like God has grace and goodwill for everyone but you, I think this perspective might help you.
I think that at some point, almost every Christian will find themselves comparing what God has done for them to what God has done for others, and furious. It can seem like He denies you of what He knows you ache for just because He knows He can, making you wonder what on earth is wrong with you or what He wants from you while He doles it out to others freely, generously and without restrictions.
There are people you can make sense of God blessing before you. I remember thinking it would be fine if one of my friends got married before me even though she was a couple years younger. She was devout, disciplined, and organized. She was sensible, frugal and just had a good head on her shoulders. She had one of those personalities that seemed like they were destined at birth for marriage and motherhood. I could understand God giving it to her before He gave it to me, because I thought she deserved it more.
But I also knew two other women that were extremely promiscuous, reckless, and seemed like they couldn’t care less about His commands. And I remember thinking that if they got married before me, I might go insane.
And of course, that’s exactly what happened.
For a long time, I was indignant.
I felt exactly like the Prodigal Son’s brother.
I knew I wasn’t perfect, but I was trying a lot harder than them, and for a lot longer.
And all I had to show for it was heartbreak.
To be honest, it didn’t feel like I’d walked away from God, but like He had walked away from me.
At this point in my life, He seemed indifferent at best and sadistic at worst.
It was like He was playing a sick game with me, treating what was most important to me like it was a riddle and we were under a bridge. I felt like He was wasting my fertility and youth dangling my desires in front of me only to yank them away before I could take hold of them.
And watching women I thought of as vulgar, careless, and irreverent get what I desperately wanted before me only made it worse.
But the heart is deceitful above all things.
And as I grew in my walk with God, I came to understand that only He has the full picture; not as a cliche or a defeated attempt to make peace with disappointment, but on a visceral and cellular level.
Yes, these women slept around a lot. And they had other traits that gave me the impression they had selfish, transactional, superficial and delusional orientations towards romance.
But none of us are just our faults, and God knows this.
They were also funny, and charismatic, and friendly. And they wanted to love and be loved just like I did.
It can be tempting to write someone off as their worst qualities, define them by their worst moments, and believe that’s all they ever will be. But God sees us as all we actually are and all we can be for better or worse. He knows every gift, every quirk, every bad habit, every flaw, every thought and everything that made us who we are.
And as I matured spiritually, I remembered that both of these women had uniquely devastating childhoods.
While I might have forgotten them in my rage and self righteousness, God never did.
That doesn’t mean we should make excuses for sin, scapegoating trauma and tragedy, but that we serve a compassionate, merciful and loving Father that sees us holistically, forgives us freely and bestows us with more than we could ever earn.
I’m not pretending to know exactly what God did or why. But I think it’s possible that the same God that knew them as little girls, struggling to navigate enormous and unfathomable pain allowed them to receive a reward I didn’t think they “deserved” as adults in the same way He allowed them to experience anguish they never deserved as children.
As I continue to develop spiritually, I’m coming to terms with the fact that whether or not we realize it, we’re all the Prodigal Son.
Our nature is to point and deflect to the failures of others, and tell ourselves that because their sins are more visible, more scandalous, more egregious, that God somehow owes us more than He owes them.
But He doesn’t owe anything to anyone, but put His only begotten Son on the cross to give us a chance at eternal life in spite of it.
Every time we choose what He’s forbidden — whether that’s promiscuity or pride — we turn away from Him. And while we can lie to ourselves or others about our disobedience, God knows it all. And He still welcomes us home, again, and again, and again, embracing us and showering us in favor we were never qualified for.
I’m of the opinion that the more seriously someone takes their faith, the more heavily their sins begin to weigh on them, no matter how “minor” or private. And at some point, I think every Spirit-filled Christian will realize just how lucky they are that God doesn’t repay us according to our iniquities. I’ve benefitted from the same clemency I resented God for extending to others, and you have to.
So when you see someone enjoying a bounty that they aren’t worthy of, remember you’re doing the same, and thank God for it.
“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.”
what do you think?