If you hate reality television, I promise this isn’t actually about reality television.
I remember seeing the memes and reels about Scandoval in 2023, but not being intrigued enough to actually watch a single episode at the time.
If you’re unfamiliar with it, Vanderpump Rules was a show following the staff at a handful of establishments owned by socialite Lisa Vanderpump and her restauranteur husband. Ariana Madix began dating Tom Sandoval in the 2nd season if I’m remembering correctly. A decade later, he had an affair with mutual friend and fellow castmate Rachel Leviss.
While there’s nothing novel about cheating in reality tv, the dynamics of this betrayal were especially scandalous, and propelled Ariana into a national spotlight that none of her contemporaries had ever seen.
It was somewhat normal to see Real Housewives secure major brand deals and opportunities as the major leagues of trash tv, but Vanderpump Rules was never at that level. The cast has been incredibly successful and was exploring ventures of their own by the time Tom’s infidelity became an international headline, but they were still wannabe musicians and actors that became famous as waitresses and bartenders for their messy love lives, drunken antics, and fragile friendships.
So to see her land a gig on Broadway, become the host of another show, publish a New York Times bestseller, appear on major magazine covers, in addition to a slew of top tier brand deals that were worth millions was unheard of. In a matter of days, she was thrust into stardom, becoming one of the most recognizable names online and in her industry – and now surpassing the heavy hitters of her former network in social media followers.
If your eyes are glazing over, I’ll remind you again that this isn’t really about reality television.
I think it was 2025 when I decided to watch Vanderpump Rules for the first time, around 2 years after this had all happened. I think I had made my way through almost every major Real Housewives franchise at that point and wanted something else to scratch the same itch.
And watching the show from the beginning, I have to admit that I wasn’t a fan of Ariana, and had no idea how she had become a fan favorite.
She was a buzzkill. She had no personality. She was unpleasant, and she could be very pretentious.
And worst of all, before she started dating the boyfriend that eventually cheated on her, she knowingly allowed him to cheat on his girlfriend with her.
She never fully admitted it. All she copped to was a “kiss” in a pool once. But anyone born more than 2 days ago, paying attention and able to read between the lines could tell that Ariana was having a full fledged affair before Tom and his ex broke up.
And to make matters worse, she was genuinely and unnecessarily cruel to her boyfriend’s ex girlfriend not for weeks, not for months, but for years after she started dating him.
She mellowed out eventually and became bearable to watch in the final seasons, but I found myself frustrated with the way things ended.
Early in the show, she was callous, conniving, and cold. There’s another C word that comes to mind, but I’m trying to stop swearing. She never took real ownership for how terribly she treated people. But when the tables turned, and she was treated terribly, she got all the sympathy in the world and was showered in praise, adoration and money.
It bothered me for a while because I didn’t feel like she deserved what she’d been given…until I remembered that none of us do.
Ariana Madix used to suck, and so did I. So did everyone.
Everyone has been selfish, unfair, or vicious at some point. Everyone has said or done something that they shouldn’t have. And everyone has been given grace that we didn’t earn.
Thank God for it.
Thank God that none of us have to live our lives defined by every mistake, every poor judgment and every careless act we ever committed.
Thank God that none of us are bound to who we were 10 years ago.
It’s easy to look at someone like Ariana Madix and think that life isn’t fair, because it isn’t – and we should be grateful for it.
It’s easy to watch someone through a screen and condemn them. It’s easy to put other people under microscopes while we whitewash our own shortcomings. We like to tell ourselves that even if we’ve done something wrong, someone else has done something worse.
If your life were filmed for a decade or more, there’s no doubt you’d be on camera doing something evil, shameful or unbecoming. But the same God that knows you at your worst, your most depraved and furthest from His character continues to forgive you, have mercy on you and bless you.
For a long time, I found myself fed up with God because I would look at certain people that didn’t seem to be even trying to obey Him, receiving everything I’d asked Him for.
But the more I grew in my walk with God, I realized just how much He’d given me that I don’t deserve – and how easily the same argument could be made about me. It humbled me.
Of course, I don’t have anything materially comparable to what Ariana has.
But the temptation is always to covet what someone else has and overlook what God has bestowed upon you.
There is someone trying harder than you, that probably deserves it more than you, and would probably appreciate it more than you – but God gave it to you anyway.
We can never repay God for it, but we can honor His generosity by extending a fraction of the compassion He’s shown to us to everyone we encounter, in real life or online, whether or not we think they’re ”worthy” of what they’ve received, and reminding ourselves that none of us are.
what do you think?