On a certain level, I feel silly attempting to articulate what’s so palpable and what seems so self explanatory. But for a reason I don’t fully understand, I’m compelled to try anyway.
Full disclosure, I never thought much of Erika Kirk before her husband was shot in cold blood. I thought she was pretty, I was obsessed with the dress she wore to Turning Point’s Inauguration Ball and even at my most cynical, I couldn’t help but smile at the story of how she and Charlie began dating. But that was where my awareness of her pretty much began and ended.
I never listened to one of her speeches in full. I never followed her on social media. I don’t think I’d even clicked on her profile until last week.
For obvious reasons, I can’t stop thinking about her now.
Of course, I think about her as a mother and a widow.
I think about the reflex she’ll have to call him to confirm mundane plans like dinners and dentist appointments, or text him about something he’d think was funny, only to realize all over again that there’s no one on the other end.
I think about her sitting alone at weddings, dance recitals and galas, trying desperately to be present but instinctively looking for the plus one she thought she’d grow into old age with.
I think about how suddenly and violently her happily ever after was torn from her and her family – and how courageously she responded.
I don’t think anyone could have or would have blamed her if she had waited a week, a month or even a year to address the public following the assassination of her husband.
But just 2 days later, she overcame what I imagine was the most devastating grief she’d ever experienced to honor him, and declare her commitment to his legacy before anyone that would listen.
When they met, she was 29 years old. After what might have felt like a lifetime of waiting, finally, she met “the one.” And from the outside looking in, it didn’t seem like she was just saying yes for the sake of settling down or because he was successful and well-connected – it seemed like she’d genuinely found the love of her life. She was blessed with a relationship that most people only dream of just to have it ripped away 7 years into what was supposed to last for 70.
And if I were in her shoes, I think I’d be heartbroken. I think a part of me would be furious with God. Maybe a part of her is.
But no matter what she’s feeling personally or privately, she chose to praise God, and she chose to put her husband – and her country – before herself.
When she had every reason to run, hide and remain radio silent, she stood before a broken, bereaved world, exponentially more broken and bereaved herself, and declared a holy war.
I’ve been working in politics for my entire adult life, and it’s made me extremely cautious — and even suspicious — when it comes to who I believe in and what I believe. I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was so quickly convinced of someone’s sincerity, or that they were worthy of admiration. But given the circumstances, I think the exception makes sense.
The more I learn about her, the clearer it becomes that their relationship was no happy accident, no coincidence, no stroke of luck.
She was a once in a generation woman made for a once in a generation man.
And unlike so many others in the public eye, it didn’t look like a performance. This wasn’t the kind of Christianity that was plastered online but rang hollow in person. She had a dignity and devotion to God that couldn’t be faked, and it showed up in the choices she made long before anyone was watching.
Her brief appearance on Summer House recently resurfaced, and it was reported that she was offered a recurring role but declined. I’ve watched more trash tv than I care to admit, and I’ve seen what it does to people. They become obsessed with getting on these shows, and will do just about anything to stay on them. They’re all too eager to humiliate themselves in exchange for Instagram followers and the illusion of importance.
We may never know her motivations. Maybe she was too busy with her business. Maybe they didn’t offer her enough money. But it says something to me that she wasn’t begging to debase herself for 15 minutes of fame.
She really seems to stand for something – not just in theory or in tweet threads, but in action. She seemed to walk the walk and talk the talk even when no one knew her name. And you can’t say that about a lot of people.
Because she’s such an extraordinary woman, I have hope that she’ll be able not just to survive extraordinary pain, but let it bring her closer to her Creator than she ever thought was possible.
I pray that God preserves her incredible character. I pray that when her own strength and bravery inevitably falter, she’ll be able to lean on her friends, on her family, and most importantly on her Father. And I pray that after the shock fades, Charlie Kirk stops trending, and our lives more or less return to normal, we remember that hers never will.
I pray that we never forget what she and her family have lost.
And last but not least, I pray that God makes us all more like Erika, and that He gives us just a fraction of the patience, the tenacity, and the integrity He gave her, so that long after Charlie’s funeral, his dream is kept alive and her sorrow won’t be wasted.
what do you think?