I think most Christians can admit that nothing sounds appealing about dying to one’s flesh, even if they’re actively trying to.
Even if we’re logically aware of how foolish and destructive our flesh is by nature, our instinct is to indulge it.
We want to do what feels easiest in the moment, even if our intelligence, conscience and the Holy Spirit tell us otherwise.
Person to person, our primary and most persistent temptations will vary. But no matter what it is we’re trying to overcome, our flesh is constantly trying to bargain itself into victory.
We want to be reckless, and selfish, and lazy. We want to spend our money on things we don’t need and can’t afford, we want to give into lust, we want to abandon our responsibilities. We want to be self righteous, haughty and proud. We want to convince ourselves that what we have was earned instead of a blessing from a merciful and benevolent father. We want to exploit others for our own gain. We want to steal from those with more than us because we’ve convinced ourselves the world owes us something. We want to hold grudges, we want to hate, we want to erupt in anger.
And sometimes, it can seem like the smart, reasonable thing to do. Sometimes, when we let our flesh win, it doesn’t seem like there are consequences. On the contrary, it can even seem like our sin was critical to our success.
I think of Jacob conniving with his mother to steal his older brother’s birthright.
In that moment, I’m sure it all seemed worth it. Even as he was running for his life, I wonder if it seemed like a small price to pay for all he’d gained.
But years later, Jacob himself was deceived, working 7 years to win the hand of the woman he wanted only to be shortchanged on his wedding night for her older sister. He ended up working a decade and a half for the original woman’s hand in marriage, and it’s difficult not to see that as a direct consequence of his own lie.
The Bible explicitly says that we aren’t punished according to our sins, and we should all be grateful for that. I don’t think God is keeping a ledger of every time you fall short, waiting for some perfect moment to repay you for every one of your transgressions. In the same way, I don’t think that just because you experience hardship or injustice, it means God is going to double everything that was taken from you like He did for Job. But I think certain stories exist in the Bible to demonstrate God’s character, even though He doesn’t act identically in every one of our lives.
But what I can say, is that every time I’ve made an effort to die to my flesh, I’ve felt not only closer to God but way better emotionally and psychologically than I would have otherwise. And I hope that by sharing these examples I can encourage others (and myself) to choose the Eternal over immediate gratification more often.
One of the most memorable instances of this for me came on the day of my 31st birthday.
I’d been thinking about the couple that led my Bible class and small group at church. They had opened their home up to us again and again, prepared delicious meals, and were all around kind, genuine people.
They’d lost everything to Hurricane Helene. I went to their house to help them clean up. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen in real life. I remember the wife occasionally having to excuse herself, randomly overcome with emotion.
If I’m remembering correctly, they bought their home in the 80s. They’d raised three children in it. Shared countless memories and milestones. So many gifts, antiques and irreplaceable keepsakes. And in one day, they were all destroyed.
I knew there wasn’t much I could do to help them materially. But before I bought my house and was praying for it, I told God that I wanted to use it to serve Him. And I thought to a limited extent, I’d done that. But it didn’t feel like enough.
I’d had an idea for a while to host a monthly Bible Study, but for whatever reason I’d never brought it to fruition.
But I realized that using my home to serve the Lord didn’t have to be some big, recurring, organized event but could be something as simple and intimate as sharing a homemade meal and trying, to the best of my ability, to reflect God’s love to others.
I texted the wife and told her I wanted to make them dinner, sharing the days I couldn’t do because I already had plans.
She texted me, “how about Thursday,” which happened to be my birthday (she didn’t know this).
At first, I thought about asking her if a different date worked. Nothing about spending my birthday cooking for other people sounded appealing to me.
But I thought more about it.
I didn’t have any plans for my actual birthday; I was planning on celebrating with my friends that Friday. And it’s not like I was crossing a milestone like 25 or 40; I was turning 31.
So did it really matter?
I decided that pushing myself to serve others on my birthday was one small way I could overcome my selfish nature, and take a step towards becoming the woman God made me to be.
And at the end of the night, with a sink full of dishes, one burnt appetizer, a side I planned for but completely forgot, and two empty bottles of Aldi champagne, I couldn’t have been happier I did.
It’s difficult to try to explain why; I’m not sure I even fully understand it myself.
But at the end of the night I felt the most fulfilled and content I had in years.
I think part of it was being able to serve people that were so accustomed to serving others, and giving them an opportunity to relax, unwind and let loose a bit.
Even if there wasn’t much I could do for them, I did what I could, and they seemed to appreciate it. I think they left with full stomachs and full hearts.
And in trying to pour into others in an act of obedience, I found my own cup running over.
The more I thought about it, it reminded me of the differences between dopamine and serotonin, and what happens when we choose the innate versus the inspired.
When we stay home, bed rot, binge watch Netflix and order DoorDash, it can feel great in the moment. We’re relaxed, cozy, entertained and we haven’t had to do anything to earn it.
We’ve given ourselves the reward without any real work, are instantly gratified, and probably spiking our dopamine.
But at some point, reality sets in. The day has been wasted, nothing has been achieved and a meal that probably wasn’t even that great in the first place was just delivered to your door step for twice the cost of just picking it up yourself and at least triple the cost of its actual value.
I’ve noticed that indulging ourselves and surrendering to the Spirit tend to have an inverse effect. When we do what we want, we enjoy it at first and regret it later, and when we do what He wants, we might hesitate initially, but are grateful we listened after the fact.
The more often you give into your flesh, the clearer it becomes that God is trying to save you from yourself when He tells you to die to it.
Everything God tells us to do is for our own good, and the more often we listen to Him and try to follow the example He sent us in His One and only Son, the better we’ll be, the better we’ll feel and the better we’ll know Him.
what do you think?