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WATCH: A Thanksgiving Guide to Shutting Down Your Fake Woke Cousin At Dinner

Thanksgiving is upon us, and in addition to an excuse to consume an unholy amount of calories within a relatively small window of time, it’s an excuse for liberals to pull out their Soviet red carpet and show the world how #woke they are. They’ll make a point to bring up the dark history of the holiday, and of this country. “What exactly are we celebrating?” They’ll ask, as they proceed to funnel gravy and stuffing down their gullets like their lives depended on it.

And in all honesty, they aren’t totally wrong. The colonists’ treatment of the Native Americans was horrendous. But it was also commonplace, and the intent wasn’t nearly as malicious as we’ve been taught.

Steven Crowder is one of my favorite political commentators, and in a seven minute video he debunks the myths that we’ve accepted as historical fact while making you laugh but more importantly, making you think.

If you don’t have time to watch the video, here’s what you need to take away:

  • Native Americans were constantly at war with one another, and aided the settlers in conquering land that belonged to rival tribes
  • Settlers had a technological advantage over Native Americans, which is why they were defeated
  • While Native Americans were wiped out by disease, it was a result of not having built up immunity to diseases that Europeans and their animals were carrying, not premeditated genocide carried out through the use of “small pox blankets”

Enjoy your turkey, enjoy your family, and enjoy whatever drink you spike and chug as your family gets political.

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  • This bathing suit says thicc like trump but I’m about to be obese like Chris Christie if I don’t stop stuffing my face like kasich 🤦🏾‍♀️
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  • In honor of the biggest psychopath I know FINALLY getting Instagram, here’s a gross picture of us hungover at brunch in shep shirts
  • Float like a butterfly, sting like the first time you saw what you earn vs what you take home every paycheck
  • Kylie Jenner was allowed to pretend her lips were real for like 6 months so can we extend summer for at least 3 more
  • This picture is like 2 months old and it took me that long get to get the faint taste of tequila out of this thermos
  • There is no satisfaction like seeing every single DC food Instagram account I follow post about this place for like 5 months straight and finally getting to try it myself 🤩🙌🏾 .
  • Can the person in charge of my voodoo doll please give me back to the person who was in charge when I was 3 and everything went my way lol
  • More tacos, less talking (forever 21 please don’t bedazzle that on something otherwise  cute)
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