TOP
lifestyle motivation

The Instagram Thot & The Fake Good Girl: 2 Sides Of the Same Basic Coin

You couldn’t write a more cliche character than me in high school. Not only was I was obnoxious, desperate for attention, always fighting with my parents, and trying way too hard to be edgy, but I was painfully insecure. And because I was once such a hot mess (and am still a hot mess, but a much more stable one) I have an in depth understanding of what self loathing, self pity and need for validation can do to a person.

We all know a girl that cares way too much about Instagram. She spends hours trying to get the right photo, meticulously editing, and constantly refreshing her phone, watching with the anxious anticipation of an addict as the likes pour in. No matter what she tells the world or herself about her choice of presentation and its implications, she knows just as well as the rest of us that she isn’t half to three quarters naked in a full face of makeup and extensions at all times for her health or comfort. And it’s a tragic.

But we also all know a girl that derives the entirety of her self worth from a false sense of superiority to “other girls.” The ones that feel the need to constantly remind us that they don’t need drugs or alcohol to have fun, and that they actually prefer a quiet night in over a wild night out. As much as they may like to pretend not to be judgmental so that people with social lives talk to them, they can’t help but feel superior to girls that dress provocatively. They take pride in the fact that they “don’t need to show skin to feel confident,” but forget that not every tight dress is a cry for attention, and not every single person that makes different choices is doing so because they lack something internally. And the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized that both esteems are founded on entirely false premises and equally pathetic.

I’m reminded of a roommate I had in college that never drank or partied, and would roll her eyes, mumble under her breath and scoff at my other roommates and me as we would throw on our thot gear and break out our bottles every weekend. This roommate applied a narrative to us that made her feel better about herself and her choices. This same roommate also exclusively met guys online. Like, that’s all she did. We’re not just talking Tinder & Bumble, we’re talking aggressively online dating. We’re talking Plenty Of Fish/basically any service she didn’t have to pay for.

And in theory, there’s nothing wrong with that. Because with all of the apps available, who knows which one bae could be on? But she would get completely wrapped up in these guys after talking to them for a day, invite them over and end up hooking up with them almost immediately. And that’s not because she was a sex positive feminist that wouldn’t be defined by patriarchal social norms, but because she was naive, delusional and had no self control.

I’m not the kind of person to judge someone or assign value to them based on how many people they’ve slept with (within reason), but she was. And she was shocked to learn that she had slept with significantly more people than I had. And of course that didn’t make me better than her, but it conflicted with the stereotype she had ascribed to me and my friends. She was forced to confront the fact that she wasn’t quite the angel she thought she was and I wasn’t quite the whore she thought I was.

When you form your opinions of yourself based on what you perceive as others’ shortcomings, you’re already operating at a disadvantage because you’re setting yourself up on a hamster wheel of a superiority complex that will inevitably collapse, as well as under the false assumption that another person’s faults somehow create value for you. It dramatically lowers your standards for achievement and excellence, and convinces you that being “not her” is an accomplishment. It’s like comparing yourself to the aspiring rappers and party promoters from your high school to make yourself feel better when at the end of the day, their failures don’t change the fact that you’re a 28 year old full time cashier at Ann Taylor with no plan for your future.

All of this to say that when you depend on other people to establish your sense of self worth whether that’s via likes and followers or comparison, you cheat yourself. Be amazing because you’re amazing, not because strangers on the Internet said you were or because other people aren’t amazing.

«

»

what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Instagram

  • “All of us have bad luck and good luck. The man who persists through the bad luck, who keeps right on going, is the man who is there when the good luck comes, and is ready to receive it.” — Robert Collier
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
#dametraveler #wearetravelgirls #girlslovetravel #darlingescapes #girlsvsglobe #outdoorwomen #girlsthatwander #femmetravel #travelingchicas #shetravels #travelgirldiary #girlsjustwannatravel #sheisnotlost #sheexplores #ladiesgoneglobal #girlsborntotravel #explorerbabes #girlsabroad #girlaroundtheworld #thetravelwomen #travelpic #forahappymoment #finditliveit #exploreeverything #neverstopexploring #adventurethatislife #puntacana #hardrockpuntacana #hotellife
  • “You’ll never get a job because of your blog” - a Bitch that was cold while I was horseback riding on the beach
  • Carbs don’t count if they’re not in English...duh
  • Say what you will about my president but if his majesty starts posting thirst traps the kardashians are over 😫🍑🎂💯👀
  • “Wow it sucks that your job only took you to Punta Cana for a weekend”

The same people wondering why they’re so miserable are the same ones trying to find something negative to say about a free vacation lol. Good things happen to those who are grateful
  • Not gonna lie, both of these pictures bother me a lot and I was tempted to edit and had a lowkey nervous breakdown looking at them and I’m not saying that for disingenuous sympathy “ur perf” comments but bc it’s real and I caught myself and even though we all are projecting curated versions of our lives on here to an extent we can at least make a choice to what degree we participate in fake toxic 🐃💩. Also while some people might not understand why these pictures are so upsetting to me, when you know what your body is capable of and how far below that standard you are I believe it’s completely normal and healthy to be disappointed in yourself and want to do better. But if you’re going to edit your body in pics it should be with diet and exercise not Facetune and filters. So hopefully posting bikini pics will suck less in the summer lol
  • 11/10 would return
  • Wow crazy how hating me just gets you 12 likes on a subliminal fb status and being friends with me gets you free all inclusive trips to the Caribbean lol
%d bloggers like this: