Stop Trying To Defend Freshmen

I’m a junior in college. Although I never really went through the slutty freshman phase, I remember the stripper gear I’d sport every weekend. I remember hashtagging ridiculously and irresponsibly on insta. I remember being transported-


But let me clarify. I was completely fine, and if I had been left in peace that night, I know that I would have woken up feeling confused, refreshed and thirsty at about 6AM the next day. Considering that I tried to make a phone call with a water bottle in front of a cop that night, I really have no one to blame but myself, but I feel the need to make it known that no real procedure was done on me. I didn’t get hooked up to any machines or have my stomach pumped. I was drunk enough to try to sneak out of a hospital on my hands and knees, but not drunk enough for all of the fuss or that outrageous ambulance bill. But I digress.


I remember what it was like to come to college on the hunt for alcohol and male athletes. And I remember being put in my place and being made better for it.

I remember being turned away from a party or two by upperclassmen girl door guardians, aka some of the most hostile people on the most severe power trips ever. Do you know what I did? I took the L, recognized my place in life at the bottom of the food chain and went on with my night.


Why is it that the freshmen of today not only try to justify their rambunctious behavior, but feel that they are immune to the natural order of college? From overtly cutting lines in the dining hall to extensive displays of daddy issues at parties, it has become evident that the class of 2018 feels like they don’t need to earn their stripes like the rest of us did, but I can tell them that they are gravely mistaken.


Individually, freshmen are some of the best people I know, but as a class, they are abominable, and desperately need to figure out.

Have fun, be idiots, but don’t be upset when upperclassmen call a duck a duck and tell that duck to leave a party.





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