I’m at a place in my life where everything seems to be coming together and falling apart at the same time. I have potential, and I’m proud of the person I’m becoming. But I have never been more overwhelmed in my life, and I don’t know if I can rise to the occasion. Between school, my 20+ hours/week at my job, the Ted Cruz campaign, the clubs I serve on the EBoard for, the five billion publications I’m supposed to be contributing to in addition to running my own blog and building my own brand, I’m struggling to keep my head above water.
On top of the stress from my many obligations, I feel like I’m growing apart from everyone that matters to me, and I’m the only one in any of my relationships that cares. It’s more important to love and support the people in your life to the best of your ability than waste time and energy dwelling on reciprocation, but it’s not easy watching bonds you thought would last forever fade into lackluster acquaintanceships.
I wish I had some groundbreaking revelation to share about my recent struggles, but I don’t. The only explanation I can offer is that we’re growing up whether or not we like it, and this is what growing up looks like sometimes. It’s not always the Dean’s List– for me it’s actually never the Dean’s List. It’s not always a big group of friends that you’ll keep in touch with long after graduation. It’s not always feeling competent, proud or happy.
But it’s also never as bad as we think it is in the moment.
What we need more than ever sometimes isn’t a #MotivationMonday Pinterest quote or a pep talk, it’s faith in who we are and who we can be. In the fast-paced chaos that is our 20s and the beginning of the rest of our lives, we need moments of clarity to remind us exactly of who we are and what we’re capable of.
I’m going to figure it out, and you will too. It may take more time than we’ve anticipated, but a challenge isn’t a failure, and no failure is final. No matter happens between now and the day I graduate, I’ll only ever be as good as I decide to be. Whether or not the people in my life now will be there months from now isn’t up to me, but what I make of the time we have together is.
It really is going to be okay, and I’m not just saying that.