The Job Hunt Is Like A Depressing Dating App

The Job Hunt Is Like A Depressing Dating App

life after college 19 comments by

Last week, I was rejected from a job that I really, really wanted. And while I didn’t necessarily think that I had it in the bag, I thought that my interview had gone well and that I had a more than decent shot at being hired. Lots of positions you apply for on the job hunt just never even bother looking at your application, let alone reaching out to you. My personal favorite are jobs that write back to you a month after you applied to inform you that they’ve “moved forward with other candidates.” Like, ya don’t say. But this was different. I had a screening. And then a pretty intense test with no preparation on an unfamiliar platform. And then an interview. It was the first time I had genuinely gotten excited about a job prospect in the long, grueling month and a half of unemployment. It was the first place that I could really see myself. It was the first time I’d felt less depressed about the idea of staying in Boston for another year or two. With each new level of vetting, I felt closer and closer to the end of one of the lowest points of my life.

I don’t know what’s emotionally exhausted me more; my last job or looking for my next one. Every day, the job hunt feels more and more like signing up for a dating app. The job hunt and the bae hunt actually have a lot in common when they aren’t going well. You put yourself out there, and swipe and swipe and swipe, and wait. Except in this version, days and weeks go by, and you still don’t have matches.

And then finally, a really hot guy named something like Justin or Trent with really nice teeth matches with you, and he messages you right away. And to your disbelief, he’s having a normal conversation that in no way involves a request for nudes or a description of his genitals. You continue talking and even go on a date with him – and a real date during the day, not meeting him at a bar where he’s hoping to get you liquored up and slutty.

As nervous as you are, it goes really well. And you don’t think you’re getting married or anything, but you’re still excited about this guy that knows the difference between salmon and “Nantucket Red” without being a total douchebag. He even texts you almost immediately after the fact telling you how pretty you looked and how much fun he had, putting any doubt to rest that you nailed it.

But then, without explanation, he stops texting you out of the blue. And you have no idea why, the same way you really have no idea you were passed up for a job. And obviously, you’re not going to ask why, because that’s desperate and unprofessional. But you’re playing everything over and over in your head trying to figure out where you went wrong. Did he get back with his ex? Is he actually gay? Did he only go out with you as an act of charity or a lost bet?

You feel disappointed, discarded and defeated. And that’s understandable. But the same way you’ll forget about Trent, you’ll forget about the job that you thought you needed. Last year while I was still in school, I wasn’t called back after my interview at Vineyard Vines. And at the time it seemed like the end of the world, but a few months later I started a full time job in media that I fell head over heels in love with.

It’s hard to keep things in perspective when all you want is a job and you have nothing but time on your hands to think about what a loser you are. But for every rejection there’s always a better boy, and more importantly always a better opportunity. Stay positive.

 

19 Comments

  1. I love this! Great analogy. It took me some time before locking down a full-time job after college and this is exactly how I felt. I still feel like this when I apply to new places that I know I might be perfect for. Like you said, stay positive!

  2. I hear ya. I feel like there were tons of jobs while I wasn’t looking and now there is nothing. I did actually write back and ask for constructive critisism So while it’s not flat out asking why I didn’t get it, at least I’ll know what to work on for next time!

  3. Job hunting has become such an emotionally draining experience. I am lucky if they EVER reply to me to tell me I don’t have the job. I was once interrupted in the middle of a telephone interview by being told ‘sorry you haven’t got the job’. That hurt, but at least they told me so I wasn’t hanging around.

  4. This is a good analogy. I hope you get to meet that prince charming of yours. And no matter what happen, there will always be that one company for you. You just have to wait.

  5. I can totally relate to this feeling! Job hunting is mentally exhausting. First finding the perfect fit which is hard enough, then proving you can do the job, then waiting…. So tough!

  6. This spoke to me! I hate not knowing why I didnt get a job. My interview skills are good (or so I have been told by past employers). The job hunt is sometimes worse then the boy hunt….scratch that way worse. Boys I get…job hunting/failures not so much.

  7. My life !! I’m currently on year 4 with my current job and I’m so ready to dabble my feet in new territory ! But it’s like you have to put 50 applications just to hear from one

  8. I love the way you write and compare. Hang in there gal, it will come when you at least expected it. Both job and the guy. I know how u felt right now. I was so confident with one of the interview too and really excited with the opportunity to work in that company. But they never get back to me anymore after that. That happen twice.

  9. I love your analogy. A few months back I was looking for a new job and was disappointed when I didn’t get a call back after the interview, a few weeks later an even better opportunity opened and I was able to get it.

  10. I really needed something like that. Thank you <3
    Sometimes it's hard to stay positive in this situation, especially when it's been a couple of months ^^'

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