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A Woman Will Never Be President If Hillary Has Anything To Do With It

As I’m sure you know, Hillary Clinton wrote a book and is promoting it on tour as we speak. She has furrowed her way once again into the limelight, and for better or worse just won’t shut up. Do I think Hillary Clinton should shut up because she’s a woman and I’m a gullible conservative, blinded by internalized misogyny? No, because I’ve wanted John McCain, Evan McMullin and even Donald Trump to shut up before too.

On the one hand, I don’t ever want Hillary to shut up. As a conservative, she’s a gift that never stops giving. And as a human being with a sense of humor, she’s also a gift that never stops giving. The excerpts I’ve seen from her book are hilarious. Her delusion is beyond parody. It reads like the scripts of Michael Scott’s confessionals in The Office, but more obnoxious and inducing perhaps even more severe second hand embarrassment. Her interviews and media appearances haven’t been any better.

Within the last week or so on national television she has claimed that Comey changed history, that Russia is a bigger story than Watergate, that the electoral college should be abolished, that Bernie didn’t do enough to get her elected and perhaps most ironically, that women didn’t turn out for her because the men in their lives pressured them politically.

Oy vey!

During the campaign, I personally felt that Trump was the candidate that played into (and was ascribed) various archetypes. We all remember the debate where Trump awkwardly stood behind Hillary the whole night, and blue check mark Twitter collectively insisted that he was trying to use body language to intimidate Hillary like an abusive partner. Post-election it seems as though Hillary has taken on the role of bitter ex lover. But instead of using the heartbreak of an earth-shattering, crushing defeat to move her forward and learn something, she’s behaving like an adolescent that listens to too much MCR and has a piercing close to their mouth. It’s absurd. And as someone that is dealing with very real, excruciating disappointments and the feelings that accompany them, I understand what it’s like to want to crawl into a hole and blame someone else for what you’re going through. As much positivity and personal responsibility as I preach, there are days that I feel so pathetic and defeated and I don’t exercise or bury myself in work to distract myself. I cry, and I watch Netflix or Hulu or Amazon, and I either eat everything in sight or nothing at all. And Hillary is allowed to feel pathetic and defeated too. She’s allowed to sulk and grieve like the rest of us because she is, after all, allegedly human. But for her to come back almost a year after the election with nothing to offer but excuses and external blame is indefensible.

I didn’t run for president. I didn’t suffer one of the most embarrassing losses in American history. So I can’t ever truly understand what Hillary went through. But I also didn’t crown myself the Spokeswoman and Representative of Women. Hillary shouldn’t be seen as a mascot for women considering women as a demographic abandoned her. Women shouldn’t be viewed through the lense of Hillary Clinton’s actions. But that’s what she and her loyalists made sure of. We were told that Hillary’s wins were our wins as women and that her losses were our losses as women. That also means that her embarrassing blunders are our embarrassing blunders. So though she claims to be touring the country and whining on television on behalf of little girls everywhere that were robbed of her presidency, she’s ironically setting a terrible example. She’s having a professionally produced temper tantrum and nothing more. With 2018 midterms around the corner and a party in disarray Hillary Clinton decided to shift focus to what really mattered: her hurt feelings.

Women spend so much time trying to prove that they’re capable and tough, only to squander those efforts on Hillary Clinton; the scorned lover that has yet to accept that America just wasn’t that into her. And now she’s talking to anyone who will listen about the breakup, trashing her ex and telling everyone he had a small penis. She’s listening to old Taylor Swift albums and subtweeting lyrics, and stalking her ex’s new girlfriend. And yet months after the breakup she still has yet to consider the fact that being a pathological liar usually doesn’t fare well in relationships.

For Hillary to fancy herself a face of feminism and gender equality is perhaps the greatest irony of the wild ride that has been the election and life thereafter. I personally couldn’t care less if a woman ever becomes president. Keep your Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuit away from me and just give me some competent leadership; I don’t care what kind of chromosomes it has. But I can guarantee that a woman will never be president following Hillary’s lead. And if a woman finally does become president, she won’t have Hillary to thank for it.

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