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Dealing With Roommates That Suck

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While I recognize how trivial my problems are in the grand scheme of things, life is hard when you’re an insecure 22 year old with high expectations for yourself. I’m overwhelmed, I’m confused, and more than anything, I just want to nap. So it really sucks when you get home after a long, sucky day – facing the imminent demise that is graduation and your life thereafter, ready to relax and decompress, but you can’t because your roommate is the worst.

Anyone that cohabitates long enough is bound to butt heads at some point, but living with someone that you desperately wish you weren’t just isn’t a good time.

I don’t hate my roommate as a person. But I don’t like her at all. She’s stupid. She’s oblivious in the worst way. She’s rude whether or not she intends to be. She doesn’t believe in vaccinations, is sick every other month and coughing her disgusting unvaccinated germs into the air we share. She’s annoying, and the friends she has over are even more annoying than her. She’s nice, but “nice” can’t make you like someone, and “nice” doesn’t mean anything when it’s interrupting your sleep.

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So how do you cope with a roommate that makes what was supposed to be your haven into a living hell?

First thing’s first, you should civilly try to discuss alternate living arrangements if you haven’t already. As bitchy and passive aggressive as I can be, I struggle being actually mean. I can rarely ever bring myself to be intentionally and unnecessarily mean, even when I should be. So personally, I recommend presenting the mutual benefits of rethinking your living arrangement as opposed to making them feel attacked.

My roommate, being the simpleton that she is, didn’t care about how she could benefit from moving into a dorm with other underclassmen as opposed to remaining in a quad of three seniors that are all friends. I’ve gotten to a point where I have nothing nice left to say to her, so I’ve chosen not to say anything, and that’s the kindest thing I can do for now.

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So assuming you’re in a situation like mine, where you’re counting down the days until you don’t have to come home to terrible music and tacky decor, here are a few tips to survive your room until the sentence is up.

Spend as little time in your room as possible. This seems like a no-brainer, but hear me out. This not only gives you distance from your domestic terrorist, but can be used to make your days more productive. Are your roommate and her boyfriend being disgusting? Hit the gym. Has she been yapping on the phone for two hours while you’re both in the room? Go to the library. You’d be surprised what avoiding someone you don’t like can do for you.

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Invest in prime headphones. If there’s anything that four years at a liberal arts college with under 2,000 students – 70% of whom are girls – has taught me, it’s that sometimes, you’re going to have to be in the same room as someone whether you like it or not. Unfortunately, though, when you live with that person, they’re less easy to ignore than an ex friend at the same party as you. Get some headphones that are a borderline safety hazard, that allow you to immerse yourself fully in your own little world and completely ignore the series of unfortunate events that is your living situation.

Keep your area clean. Annoying roommates and life in general are stressful enough without the added chaos of a cluttered living space. I find it much easier to relax and feel at peace when my room is more clean than not.

Pray/meditate. Sometimes, all you can do is ask God for the patience that you don’t have or count to ten.

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And if that doesn’t work, take a lap. In our hyper technological world where we spend all day switching between meaningless apps and taking in more information than we know how to process, it’s easy to forget the value of some fresh air and a scenic route.

When all else fails, there’s always booze. Take the scenic route to the liquor store and kill two birds with one stone.

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