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2 Decades Worth Of Knowledge On Interacting With Cute Boys

There’s a difference between having standards and being an idiot. I’d love a tall political science/business double major decked out in vineyard vines and brooks brothers as much as the next girl, but I’m not about to pass up a perfectly good guy because he’s of average height and under the impression that cargo shorts are acceptable. “Check listing” is probably one of the easiest ways to ensure that you’ll never be happy.

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Relationships are about give and take. Apply this to everything from movie night to the bedroom.

At some point, you will probably develop irrationally strong feelings for someone irrationally fast. Things could work out, but you’ll most likely end up devastated and wine drunk face down in a box of dominos. I was raised on a “no pussy shit” discipline, but it’s okay to cry about cute boys. It’s important to remember that there’s a boy cuter than him with a better haircut that gets your sense of humor somewhere, so chin up butter cup.

A guy that only wants to see you when he’s drunk or to “chill” in his/your dorm is probably only interested in one thing.

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As much as being single sucks in my opinion, settling is never ever worth it. If you feel like you’re doing someone a favor by being with them, you shouldn’t be with them. Getting drunk because you’re single and cute couples make you want to skin yourself alive is far more dignified than getting drunk because you’re in a relationship with someone that makes you want to skin yourself alive.

We’re all a little bit thirsty. But have some dignity.

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There is no “one size fits all” for romantic success. Cosmo articles will not get you a boyfriend. All you can do is use the mistakes you’ve made to be a better you. And the better you become, the better men you attract.

Self respect feels better than a minute or two of attention.

Friends with benefits is like playing Russian Roulette. It generally end in one of two ways:
1) you guys end up dating
2) someone catches unrequited feelings

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Romeo & Juliet weren’t in love. They were teenagers in heat. Think about that the next time you find yourself on the verge of a killing spree because of a dumbass with a six pack, and put things in perspective.

Don’t make someone a priority if you’re an option to them.

Some guys lie to get what they want, but we often have a bigger part to play in our broken hearts than we’d like to admit. Most of the time, guys are generally upfront about their intentions. We watch one too many rom coms, and are convinced that he’s going to fall madly in love with us despite everything he’s said, and then act like victims when we’re greeted with reality. I’m not saying that it’s always the case, because it’s not, but we’ve got to stop kidding ourselves.

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A guy that is constantly broadcasting what a “gentleman” he is probably isn’t one at all.

Men get erections if a breeze hits them just right, so never think that a boner means anything more than a boner. It doesn’t mean he loves you, it doesn’t mean he likes you- it doesn’t even mean he thinks you’re pretty. Do whatever you want, but for the right reasons.

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Condoms are not optional, and these hoes are not loyal. (Just to clarify I learned this at an after school sex ed program not through an STD scare)

A guy that kisses you on the forehead is 85% more likely to be a keeper.

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